Culture

Government by Tweet

The Seattle ethics commission takes up social-media guidlines for elected officials. Just imagine a time when we could Tweet our tunnel vote, pay our toll through an embedded chip and still have time to read our neighbors' trivial FB status updates.

Government by Tweet
Sponsorship

by

Kent Kammerer

The Seattle ethics commission takes up social-media guidlines for elected officials. Just imagine a time when we could Tweet our tunnel vote, pay our toll through an embedded chip and still have time to read our neighbors' trivial FB status updates.

The City of Seattle’s Ethics and Elections Commission has drafted new guidelines regarding Twitter and other social media to ensure City Council   members don’t misuse the new media to get reelected, hold eclectic cyber   meetings, or trample on the ethical boundaries of good government.

With tongue firmly planted in cheek: It’s reassuring to realize our city  government looks favorably on the latest technology to solve our  more  perplexing problems. City Hall has incorporated into its  communications  options the use of Twitter, Facebook, and potentially other  social media.  We must assume that doing so enhances the city’s ability  to gather  critical informed analysis from the public on what they want with regard to transportation, environmental sustainability,  energy  conservation, demographics, or finance issues.

Using  the new media serves as a means of gathering reliable counts over  what  lifestyle choices the citizenry might want, and could reduce the need for  city  departments to prepare long boring reports or analyses of   demographics, financing options, revenue sources, geology, or any other information used in decision-making. It’s also no surprise that our   political election industry has figured out that the information   available through Tweets and Facebook is very useful in reelection campaigns.

Skeptics wonder if Twittered commentary could, for example, allow the   City Council to reduce or eliminate public hearings where they are   required to stay awake while endless numbers of citizens deliver their   emotional two-minute speeches. All that will be necessary is to count yea/nay Twittered comments and the decision will be clear.

All that time   and money wasted on environmental impact statements and feasibility   studies will become part of our quaint history. The “Seattle Way” of   lengthy studies about complex projects will end with a click of mouse.

Roads, tunnels, and public-transportation projects can be ratified in   minutes just by counting the Tweets and Facebook comments. The $400   million spent by the State Department of Transportation for consultants   will no longer be necessary. Clever promoters can avoid the much-maligned “Seattle process” by hiring tech nerds to develop automated Tweeters that send thousands of computer-generated Tweets to city and   state websites to be counted as supporters for their proposals.

Why   struggle with facts, details, and complex data when thoughtless spontaneous   responses will save time. It’s well understood that a quick bad   decision trumps a studied thoughtful decision any time. It’s been said   we could have created the mirror image of any eastern seaboard city if   it hadn’t been for that Seattle-process mentality that asks far too  many  questions about the resulting quality of life and where the money  to  pay for it will come from.

The advantages to democracy will  be profound. At last the age  discrimination toward the young can be  overcome because preteen kids,  high school and college students can  avoid the boring necessity of going  to public meetings to learn about  decision-making and the  responsibility of governance. The new media  will  allow them to express  their youthful opinions the moment the idea  passes through their minds  and iPhones. More important is that the  new technology will, in all  probability, get rid of all the old  troglodytes who don’t understand or  use the new media and delay or  sidetrack progress by asking all those  unnecessary questions like, Do  we need it?

The old, out-of-the-loop class of age-handicapped,  progress-slowing  examiners of public policy won’t understand that the  future could  easily move toward ORCA-style funding for city projects. Maybe in the future citizens will carry RFID  funding cards in  their wallets or purses. As we move about, GPS  locaters will bill us as  we use tolled streets and bridges. The  process would automatically bill  credit cards for the funding of any civic  project approved by Tweeting.

Just think: Linked through Tweets, we  could register our instant opinions  and pay for the results on credit with the  click of a button. We could just blurt out  an opinion or walk around and be automatically taxed. It’s a  surefire way to solve our  budget problems without cutting down on city  employees.

The  most outstanding advantage derived from using this new social media  is  to make complex decisions more efficient. One might, for example,  vote  for a new east-west crosstown tunnel, pay for it, then still have   time to read a Tweet from someone wondering whether to wear a blue blouse today, or to buy that gold Rolex on eBay or watch a little pro   football.

To keep all this fantastical new technology on the  up and up, the city’s  Ethics and Elections Commission has drafted new Twitter and other social  media guidelines that will hopefully dampen  any City Council members'  thoughts about misuse.

Ever wonder  what our country would have been like if Thomas Jefferson  had been able  to Tweet his ideas to the other members of the Continental Congress? The formation of our nation could have been accomplished in  days  rather than years. Who knows what the U.S. might have become? The   entire U.S. Constitution could have been printed on the back of an RFID   card or microchipped into babies at birth. It could track our location   and auto-pay our taxes. We wouldn’t have to think at all.